Can you keep a secret? Small thoughts to feel unique

There are days that even before they start, you already know that they will be difficult, maybe because you felt it, or because you actually know you have something stressful planned. Other days instead, begin on the right foot, but at some point, without even realizing it, everything starts to go wrong and you find yourself on your way home thinking: ‘God what a shit day’. What I am about to tell you will not straighten what went wrong, nor will it take away any source of stress.I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but in a way it lifts me a little.

It is a very easy thing to do and it consists in keeping a secret for yourself .. I mainly have three types (in order of difficulty):

1 Little vice: the easiest and absolutely unbeatable.The first secret thought that I suggest is to foretaste the satisfaction of a little cuddle at the end of the day. From chocolate, to the corner of the city you prefer, from a nice hot bath reading a book, to a small self gift or a movie on the sofa with a cat and popcorn. Organize something you like for that same evening and everything will seem to slip away much more simply as you wait for your moment.

2 underwear: ok then, I’m a woman and that’s how it works for me, but I guess any type of garment can fit. For me, knowing that no one else knows, but I wear particularly sexy lingerie or that I like more than any other in my drawer, makes me feel extraordinarily powerful and consequently self esteemer ( if i can say it).

33 Tattoos (or piercings): I personally have both and I am particularly proud of the fact that I do not show off either of them. Indeed I always try to keep them hidden or covered as much as possible. On this you may not agree in many, but I believe that both of these practices reveal something private, they say something about us without the need for words. So it makes me stronger to know that there is something of mine that I can show only to whoever I want. It especially helps me when I meet new people even when I get intimate with someone for the first time. Of course I’m not advising you to go and scarify by the end of the day, but maybe re-evaluate some of your scars or wear some accessories that talk about your culture or your beliefs and keep it a little hidden under your clothes. Things like that, apparently insignificant, but they make sense if you show them.

I repeat I have not given you who knows what advice, but only those that for me are a happy thought and that help me to survive certain days.

Comfort things to get out of the comfort zone

Sometimes I feel anxious and can’t figure out what it is (did I really say SOMEtimes?). Maybe nothing has happened and I am aware that nothing will happen, anyway I feel a sense of restlessness in my stomach.

When this happens, I have learned a foolproof way to calm down and that is to resort to what I call life jackets. That is, small comfort things that allow me to manage a possible small moment of anxiety, even in apparently quiet situations. Among other things, I find that they could also be useful for some small digression from my comfort zone.

Tv series / books         

I personally have both. There are times when I’m at home, on the sofa and I can’t relax as I would like. Or I’m in bed destroyed, but still I can’t sleep. Here, in my case, a random episode of ‘friends’ or a couple of pages of ‘Bridget Johnes’ diary’ takes place. Ok, maybe we are not talking about  great masterpieces, but probably the mix between lightness and a high identification in characters or situations, make me feel safe.LLet’s say that they help me in my relationship with containment underwear, or they delude me that I can face life like Joey Tribbiani. I look at them and I feel at home, surrounded by things I know well and I think that basically nothing is more likely to go wrong than the other way around.

Passpartout outfit

I can say without false modesty that I am not one of those who look in the mirror and like herself. Let’s say that usually I can stand myself, but some days I just can’t look at myself. It happens that, on some public occasions when I could be very quiet, such as dinners with secular friends or relatives, however an inexplicable thing creeps into my thoughts and I stop feeling at ease. On these occasions it helps me a lot to know that I have 1 outfit in which I feel good, comfortable, but I would almost be pretty. Remembering that after all my appearance is acceptable reassures me, making me think that all in all, to avoid fool it would be enough for me to keep quiet.

3 three deep breaths.

Golden rule of a lifetime, learning to breathe. This tip is especially true when I am in crowded places, such as public transport or in a queue at some store and start to fidget. Then I just stare at a specific point, usually something on me like shoes or hands and I start to pay attention to how I breathe. My technique is to inhale mentally counting to 6. At this point I always hold the breath for 6 seconds and at the end I exhale, so that it always lasts at least until I have counted to six (or even 8 I like). For me, four or five breaths of this type are already enough to feel a little more in line with the absolutely harmless situation I am experiencing.

As always, rereading myself I think I wrote some things that are quite obvious for everyone, but the truth is that,  in my opinion, they are very easy tips to implement and therefore it costs nothing to try. I am really convinced that it is good for everyone to identify comfort things, because they could be useful keys to get out of the comfort zone, one small step at a time.

 And so….what do you have?